All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts.

"What is shape without form; What is chaos without order; What is life without death; What is friendship without love; What isn't?" - Scott Watson

Black and white. Light and Dark. Yin and Yang. Opposites in all forms yet complete the other. A balance. Where there is happiness there is pain. Where there is laughter there is hatred. We live, We die. We breathe, We kill. We love, We hurt. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every day we live, a person dies. Complete opposites that complete each other. No wonder they say that opposites attract. We're made this way for a reason. If everyone was the same, wouldn't the world be boring? So, don't judge a person cause they're different from you. Opposites complete the other. Remember tt.

Chaos reigns. Fear exists in every breath. Darkness waits in the shadows of the rising sun.

"Where eldest Night And Chaos, ancestors of Nature, hold Eternal anarchy amidst the noise Of endless wars, and by confusion stand; For hot, cold, moist, and dry, four champions fierce, Strive here for mast'ry." - John Milton

Sick. Can u imagine? I still have low blood pressure amazingly after 4 months.

Anyways, been thinking abt sum stuff lately. Like how a certain fren of mine who used to say tt some certain ppl were unable to think for themselves and how selfish they are and wad not and now is friends wif them thus ignoring me. Another friend of mine, who once told me tt she would never change herself just to please other ppl is now changing herself to please her "friends". A long time ago, a friend of mine told me that if ppl don't like you for who you are then they aren't worth your time and friendship. Ppl tell me that I should try to make friends. To tt I answer this: You want me to make friends wif ppl who can't accept me for who I am and suck dicks for a living? You must have a fucked up mind....

Back to the whole thinking thing, I've realised sumthin. They say that you don't learn things in school. I've learnt sumthin. I've learnt how to keep my emotions inside....

Well, so now I'm a bitcyh who spoilt your relationship with a dear friend.Which dear friend is this? One who most likely got sick and tired of your shit? There are people who have my back you noe. I do have friends contrary to popular belief. There are people who hate you you noe. You're not as perfect as you think you are. I'm not the person you make me out to be.

You all knew what was going to happen.
Sooner or later.
You believe all the lies and not the truth.
You believe what those assholes tell you rather than your friends.
Why?
Cause those assholes are popular.
That's the reason why everyone leaves me.
One by one.
Cause they'd rather be popular than be friends with me.
Do you noe what you are?
Superficial.
Egoistical.
Screwed up.
Boy crazy moron.
Hypocrite.
That's just to name a few.
Get lost poser.
Reading your blog makes me realise just how superficial you are.
Can't believe that I was once your friend.
Luckily I came to my senses.
Thanks for making me cry.
Cause by doing that, you've made me stronger.
So, thanks.


Why don't you understand that we are all the same?
You talk about me like I'm not there.

To say that I had a bad day is the understatement of the century. Let's start off shall we?

First 2 periods. Malay. Guess wad? Those people hid my malay book wif SJ and everyone noticed that, including me. Cikgu suspected something and checked Paranjothy's desk since she was the one who handed out the books but couldn't find anything. So I did my work on a piece of foolscap and it was only after that that SJ screwed up and cikgu saw my book with her and got extremely angry. She told SJ to personally hand me the book. I just grabbed the book from her, and with cikgu's permission, went to the toilet where, I met Paranjothy halfway and told her that the next time she wanted to hide my book, do in secret! Followed by me running to the toilet to cry. She realised what I meant and followed me. She told me that they all have been doing all these things cause of wad I said abt SJ. So I asked her, "What did I say?" Apparantly, according all of the crap I've heard, I told the LD girls to hate her. WHAT THE FUCK?! Oh yeah, my malay class girls hate me cause I'm friends with my oldest babygurl, Chrystal. Screwed up! And halfway through that "nice" talk wif Paranjothy, Biatch comes in. She tells her to go back to class and that cikgu was scolding the WHOLE malay class. So we go back to class where cikgu asks who were in the whole "Lets piss Sherry off". 4 people stood up. But I noe there were more. Anyways, the 4 ppl were Paranjothy, Christine, SJ and, of all ppl, Sam B. Cikgu asked them to apologise but I said that I didn't want to hear their apologies. They don't mean it anyways. SJ was fed up and said, "See cikgu. She doesn't my apology." But all 4 apologised at least 3 times each before class ended. Fucking screwed.

I usually neva cry over this sort of stuff but lately, ppl have been pushing me past my limit. I mean, cmon, even GYP is now friends with "those" people and has started ignoring me. "Those" people hand me my papers with the added "eww". I DO NOT HAVE ANY DIESEASE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! UNDERSTOOD?!

There's only so much I can take. I am human you noe. Or have you forgotten that I'm just like you?

WORD OF WARNING TO SARAH JANE ANTHONY: DON'T ASSUME. DON'T MAKE UP STORIES. I STOPPED BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU CAUSE YOU WERE MISS HIGH AND MIGHTY DURING LD. YOUR EGO AND YOU THINKING THAT YOU WERE PRINCESS PERFECT DROVE ME TO HATE YOU. YOUR CONSTANT BITCHING ABOUT ME AND MY FRIENDS DROVE ME OVER THE EDGE. REMEMBER HEALTH AND WEALTH DAY? WELL, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NOTHING YET. JUST KEEP PUSHING ME OVER THE EDGE AND WATCH OUT. BE AFRAID CAUSE YOU'LL BE WISHING THAT YOU HAD NEVER MESSED WITH ME. WATCH OUT COWARD. I CAN YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE. TRUST ME. WATCH OUT!

Quoting Sarah Natasha's blog.

Thursday, September 22, 2005
what the hellwhoot. i finally cracked up at Sherry today in malay class. I dont know what came over me. I dont even remember what i said but i snapped. I've had enough of her crap.You know what Sherry, I never really hated you, i dont think i even went out of my way to make life hell for you before all this, so i seriously had no idea why you hated me so much.
I dont care now because i dont even like you, i wont put on some double facade and act like i do. And honestly, you keep on complaining how you dont have any friends in malay class, but it would help if you at least try to make an effort to be more friendly or whatever because dissing us under your breath doesnt help. I pity you. I really do. Because this is PATHETIC.

Back to me. I don't give a fuck wad she says. She's being a two face asshole biatch who's being a hypocrite and pretending to be all innocent and wad shit. Tell me I'm pathetic, I've got news for you. People who diss my friends are NOT my friends. Guess wad I mean. If I'm pathetic then wad r u? Kiss ass.... Go screw yrself and yr new weekly crush. Ciao whore....
I can't believe that as I'm writing this post, I can't stop crying. I can't believe that after all this time, I've finally cracked. I can't believe that after all this time, I still haven't dealt with my grandmother's death. I can't believe that I'm typing all of this when all that I can possibly see are blurry images. I can't believe that this is the first time that I've cut myself. With a sharp ruler; it can get the job done. I don't think I've ever felt this way. For the first time in my godforsaken life I'm actually crying until my head hurts. I'm actually crying until I feel as if I can faint. Until I think that I can cry no more but yet, the tears are still falling. And I'm doing all this in secret cause I don't want my parents to worry. Cause I'm in no mood for them to get all worked up and start nagging and calling up the school or wad not.

Sarah Natasha accidentally called Sarah Jane, sara so I just said "sara" and she turns to me and says "can't you just shut up?" in a pissed voice so I reply,"What the fuck is your problem?" And guess wad the motherfucka said? "Why can't you act civilized?" So I reply, "I always swear. Do you have a problem?" She replies, "Yeah. You." After that, since I just talked back to one of the most popular in malay class, I don't exist. I was reading my book after that. If I ask a question, I get no reply. It's no wonder that I'm failing malay. I just can't believe that I once thought malay class as my sanctuary. I'm burning up. But hu cares?

My closest friend can't be bothered to listen to my problems. So I'm blogging. Motherfucking ass.

My parents aren't supporting me in my decisions. They're telling me not to take up dance, singing or acting when I grow up. Saying that if I do all that and after awhile I fall flat on my face then I'll have nothing else to fall back on. WHAT THE HELL?! I can't do wad love cause my parents aren't letting me. Damn screwed.

They say you learn alot in school. I've learnt that I'm ugly, not talented and a loser. At least, that's wad they all say. My defences are down. My heart is broken. My soul is broken. And I'm still crying. I've learnt sumthin on my own though. I've learnt how to put on a facade so that the rest of the world don't realise that I'm dying inside.

Let me cry.
Let me die.
Is not like anyone's gonna cry if I die.
No one cares.

Is it wrong to think for myself?
Society keeps wanting me to change,
they keep throwing me off track,
they keep putting me down,
they keep trying to prevent me from rising from the ashes.
They have this stupid bloody motherfucking idea that I cannot be better than them in/at anything which I find to be extremely fucked up.
I fucking hate the fact that people have trouble letting me be me.
Society has this stereotypical view of people like me which I find extremely demeaning.
If you don't know me, you wouldn't be able to believe that I swear practically 24/7.
You wouldn't be able to believe that I actually love broadway.
What you see ain't what you get.
Don't judge me before you know me.
Don't believe what others say.
The information may just be wrong.
With these words I intend to change your view of me.

Life is like a fairytale come to life.
A mix of reality and fantasy.

Just like every story,
there's a beginning, a middle and an end.
Just like life.

We start off being absolutely clueless about everything and then we gradually learn new things.

Then, we get stuck in a rut at times and we get burnt and we know of the pain and the harsh reality of the world.

Then, in the end, we look around us and wonder how time passed by so fast. We look back at our life and think about how things could have turned out if we did something differently. But then we look around us and realise the truth. The ups and downs of life have prepared us for the unpredictable and the experience helps us to tell others what to do in different situations. Then, in our last breath, we realise something. Our life has prepared us for THREE things and these things alone. To look into the eyes of fear, meet death and go to the afterlife where we are rewarded/punished for what we have done on our however short time on earth.

This is why in fairytales, we always end the story off with "happily ever after". Each fairytale has a happy ending. Yes, we get sad in the beginning after the ending of the story but we deal with it and later on, understand the story and say goodbye to the fairytale as we grow older.

Time is a great mystery to us all. But with it comes the power to control the fairytale. Whether or not the fairytale is a triller or a bedtime story is up to us. We control the beginning, the middle and the end. Happily Ever After or so it seems.

And, like many other fairytales, I choose to end mine here. I now know who I can trust and who are my true friends. I have experienced happiness, sadness, anger, hurt, betrayal, laughter, friendship and love. I had one day hoped to change society. I now leave that dream to my friends whom I know will succeed. Now I can look in a mirror and be satisfied with whom I've become. With this my fairytale ends. "and she lived happily ever after."

The End.

Can u believe that I'm in school rite now?
Doing my bloody EP project and guess wad? No one else in my group is here wif me...
Now I noe how GYP feels....
GYP has dance at the moment but she's comin rite after tt...
Dashni is suppose to be here but is she? Hell no!
She hasn't done shit for this fucking project and neither has that motherrfucking biatch who went for an unimportant meeting!
Can't you just tell that I'm beyond pissed?

English End of Year exam next week.Exactly 7 days.Just kill me.

Stupid people whom sit behind me are trying to change my place.They are blaming me for everything.Bloody motherfuckers...

Fed up,pissed and basically,homicadal.

Another day.

Another reason to die.

New skin.Isn't tis nicer? Babygurl complained abt the harry potter music on the last one so I decided to change the whole skin. Sides, I myself was getting sick of the song.

Stayed back todae for EP.We still have alooot left to do and todae was the deadline so I asked Ms Koh to give us until tmr.Hope that we can finish it tmr.Jess was teaching me how to do the various types of compositions in the car on the way back from school since wad's-his-name hardly taught at all throughout the whole fuckin year.Thanx Jess!

Those stupid screwed up ppl who sit behind me and GYP think that the whole world revolves around them.They kept talking throughout the whole time in school and I am so fed up with their stuck up attitude.I told them to shut up and guess wad? They kept talking as if I'm invisible.Pissed wif em.They think that I'm to blame.I'm not! I didn't do anything and they refuse to believe me.I agree wif GYP.They're childish.Always have been.Always will be.

I am so not looking forward to malay class tmr. Wad's the fucking point? They all treat me as if I'm invisible and wad not. Screwed up....



What happened to me and you? You said you'd never change...

Thought I could trust you.
Thought you had my back.
Guess not.
You bloody motherfucking biatch.
You say how much you hate cliques and what shit.
You yourself have a clique.
Which you always choose over me.
You say that you'll be there for me.
You're not.
Broken promises.
Broken dreams.
Broken soul.
Just as I thought everything was going to be fine.
You of all people.
Broke me without knowing.
You burnt me worse than SJ.
You burnt me worse than I ever thought possible.
Happy now?
You're never going to see me cry.
You're never going to see me missing you.
You're never going to see me weak.
Stop pretending to be my friend.
Cause I noe your not.
So go screw yourself and your juniors.
Go be the slut that you are.
Go be the whore that you are.
Ciao.

You gave me back everything I ever knew.
You gave me back something I thought I lost.
You gave me the best gift I could have ever received.
You gave me back my faith.
You gave me back my hope.
You gave me back my soul.
You gave me back my life.
I'll never be able to repay you.
Thank You.

GYP asked me a question todae.
She asked me why she trusted them.
I told her that it was simply because she didn't read the signs.
That she wasn't experienced in getting burnt.
I knew the kind of people they were from the very start.
I can read all the signs.
I don't trust people easily.
Why?
90% of the people who go to our school are putting on a facade for the rest of us to see.
Mostly because they have a hidden agenda.
But very few put on a facade to prevent themselves from getting burnt.

But those people are starting to really annoy me now.
You asked her to choose and she couldn't.
True friends accept the other's decision.
Guess you were never her true friend cause you just couldn't accept it.
So you decided to just gossip about me instead.
You thought that I was the problem.
Let me tell you something.
If she chose you over me,
I would have accepted it.
You noe why?
In P5, I promised her that I'd walk away from the "gang".
But I didn't.
I left only last year.
I betrayed her.
And I'll gladly pay the price when the time comes.
But it turns out that God may actually be listening to me.
I guess that he figured that I needed a friend in class so he let all this happen.
So, if you're listening, thanks.
Anyway, back to you.
I didn't do anything.
If I have done something, then I'm sorry.
Let me be.
Is that too much to ask?
Just let me be.

[[*Missing You. You noe that I'd do anything just to see you smile*]]

Unbelieveable.
I got an A1 for the science presentation! Yes!
GYP and I are cool now.
We're friends.
I just have one question to ask.
Why is it that every problem involves me?
Why do I keep hearing people saying my name in class?
I noe I have nice name ppl but really....

What the hell did I do to you?
You asked her to choose.
She chose me.
Is that a crime?
Too bad.
Talk bad abt me during science.
Watch out.
Neva mess wif me.
You should noe tt by now.
Never mind.
At least now I noe.
Whom to trust.
Thank you for making me stronger.

You've given me a gift.
Thank you.
After all this time.
At long last, I feel.

Screw you motherfucking biatches!
Can't you idiots see that I'm human too?
Don't you realise that I have feelings too?

You don't care about me so why should I care about you?
You're pretending to be sumone that you're not but I doubt you even realise it.
In front of them you act like you hate me.
Without them around, you act as if you're my friend.
Can't you make up your bloody mind already?
You have no fucking idea how much you motherfuckers hurt me.
You never will realise it.


Is it a crime to be different?
Is it a crime to be loyal to my friends?
Is it a crime to be myself?
Cause that's what you're accusing me of doing.
If that's the case, I plead guilty.
Take me to my prison cell.
Oh wait, I forgot.
2/4 already is my punishment.



Being a bitch was never so much fun!

I am:
Slave to fashion.
Fashion kitten.
Princess in training.
Drama Queen.
Dancer.
Glam Gurl.
Chocoholic.
Bad gurl gone wrong.
Daydream believer.
Spellbound.
Bewitched.

Quotes:
And I should care because?
Of course it's about me! Who else would it be about?
Fuck off Biatch!
I'm happy, don't ruin it.
That's "Miss Bitch" to you.
I love my reputation.
And yet, I'm still better than you....
Dare.

Falling

Where am I?
Lost in the darkness.
Searching for the light.
Falling.

Memories turn into dreams.
Nightmares in disguise.
I'm awake at night.
Falling.

Demons following my path.
Nightmares refuse to leave me.
Darkness surronds me.
Falling.

I'm sorry.
Let me be.
Please.
Falling.

Been here too long.
Fear exists no longer.
The shadows are my only companions.
Falling.

An Angel fell from grace.
Memories are starting to be erased.
Yet here I am.
Falling.

Lost.

Wandering around.
Searching everywhere.
Where is my soul?
Lost.

It couldn't take it anymore.
It didn't want to stay.
It's somewhere out there.
Lost.

Another day.
Another night.
Time passes by.
Lost.

Another chance.
A shot at redemption.
But where are you?
Lost.

I don't feel.
I don't see.
I don't hear.
Lost.

Perhaps tis is for the best.
Perhaps you've found a better place to be.
But there's sumthin that you should know.
Lost.

Without you, my soul, I can't go on.
I can't live.
I'm nothing without you.
Lost.

Dreams.
A figment of our imagination.
The one thing we cannot live without.
Without dreams, we live reality.
What is reality without fantasy?
It's life without friends.



You took it all, are you happy now?

Hey babygurls! Sup?!
Kay Smells Like Blue Cheese
Ignore tt sentence. I'm at my cuz's hse. Well, look on the brite side ppl, hols are here!
Won't have to see my fuckin classmates and SN and SJ .
Unfortunately got LIT play aft dis week
My Class gurls who suck at acting are acting.. lame isn't it?
Armstrong is annoying me i swear!
He volunteered me for library reading dis tuesday, which im not going to!
DNT exam sucked, i think i failed.
Chrys told me abt the S.S.S and I for one tink tt it roxs!
I wonder if she's gonna do wad I told her to?
Hmm.... I want a pic of tt by the way babygurl!
Gotta blaze, cuz is 'eatin' me. Later ya'll!

You tell the others not to bother about me.
You made me feel worthless, like I'm of no value.
You made feel like I have no talent.
You continue to diss my songs and poems.
You continue to hurt me.
You continue to make me cry.
And yet, through all of this,
I'm still here.
I'm still pretending that I'm your friend.
I'm still pretending to be unaffected by my surrondings.
Pretending. Putting on a facade.
Hidden from reality are my true feelings.
You'll never understand me.
You'll never understand why I do what I do.
You'll never see my true colours.
I'm not the person you make me out to be.
Don't believe what you hear.
It just may be wrong.
You ask me why people always, no matter who they are, trust me.
The answer to that question is simple.
I'm loyal. I keep secrets.
You tell me not to tell, and I don't.
You find it wrong.
I find it right.
I trust my friends and they trust me.
Is that wrong?
You wonder why I hang out with the people in other classes.
The answer is simple.
I have no one else to turn to.
No one else.
You ask, "Why do you write your songs and poems?
I reply, "Because I need to tell someone how I feel."
I don't trust people easily.
Unlike you.
And yet, I'm the one who gets burnt.
But who cares how I feel?
Definately not you.
I've come to a conclusion.
One can trust no one but himself.
I gotta admit, there's one good thing about loneliness.
You get used to it after awhile.





Just let me be. Is that too much to ask?

Piczo
Savage
kathleen
NURUL
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Chrys
Ado
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Zoe
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Baby Jess
Nana
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KaYlEiGh
HuDa
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