All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts.
Monday, August 29, 2005 / 4:06 PM
this doubt is screaming in my facein this familiar place sheltered and concealedand if this night won't let me restdon't let me second guesswhat I know to be realput away all I know for tonightand maybe I just mightlearn to let it gotake my security from meand maybe finallyI won't have to know everything- Lifehouse ,Unknown
Friday, August 26, 2005 / 6:03 PM
If I can kill SJ trust me I would! She found out my malay marks frm Val ( she doesn't noe tt I noe)and came to me wif a bloody smirk on her face and said tt she had higher marks than me! Fuck tt bloody idiotic boy-crazy hypocrite! SCREAMS! Do u noe tt the girls hu sit next to me in malay class dun't help me out which is probably why I'm failing malay rite now! Screwed up!I've got CIP tmr wif my LD gurls. That'll be so much fun... Can't you just hear my sarcasm? Damn pissed todae. Damn pissed.SHUT THE FUCK UP WORLD! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO HEAR MYSELF THINK?!Since the fucked up world is not going to leave me in peace, I shall be off. SCREAMS.To my babygurls,Thanx for everything.Chrys, ya noe I'm always here if u ever need me. Tkcare of yrself! Muacks! Love you! Yiping, thanx for hearing me out. Tkcare of yrself and yr sister. Love you too! Wadeva world! I gave up listening to you a long time ago!
Thursday, August 25, 2005 / 4:09 PM
"It's not like you to say sorry" - Nickleback, how you remind me
Wednesday, August 24, 2005 / 4:21 PM
Why the hell does Bernard Chan come to school if he gives us two free periods?! I swear, that man can't teach and he's my form teacher!
My class is damn fucking bias I swear. Todae was the history skit and my grp was the first and at the end of it, nobody and I mean NOBODY clapped! Cause of me as usual. But to hell wif it.
Had recess by myself again! Fuck lar.... Screwed up system we have in school....
Anyways, this is dedicated to Wong Yiping and Chrystal:
Josh Groban- You raise me up
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up:
To more than I can be.
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
You raise me up: To more than I can be.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005 / 4:59 PM
LD RAWKS!!!! School doesn't! I gotta agree wif Chrystal's lastest post, our school is full of ppl bitching abt others all the time. It's an all girls school so it's kinda expected but it suxs! Chrystal has turned swedish! Congrats babygurl! Mommy's proud! You're the new Sec 3 level rep! SHE has to listen to u! Power is a gd thing! Stay yr cool, sxc self babygurl!CIP this Sat! If u see me beggin for money, pls donate! I'm beggin you! Pls!SN has crossed the line from admiration to obsession! She and guys are, like, peanut butter and jelly! God, she so suxs! Backstabbing biatch!SJ is the same! She, SN and root of all evil arebest buds! God, sumone save me!To SJ,SN and biatch plus my gurls: "Cause backstage there's not enough room for you." The Donnas- backstage
Monday, August 22, 2005 / 5:51 PM
Sick and tired of this shit. You weaved a perfectly taught out web of lies. I'm not sorry that I met you, you've made me stronger; I'm just sorry that I trusted you cause it took almost all of my strength to walk on. My friends saw this pic of me and my cuz Kayleigh and the first words they said when they realised tt I was in a halter was, "That's so not you." I'm so fed up with ppl telling me who I am and who I'm not. Don't you idiots think that I know who I am by now? They think that the only things I wear are shirts or short sleeves or sleaveless. They think that it's perfectly alright for them to wear halters and wad crap but not for me cause I'm not popular. What fucked up logic is that? God, how I wish I could kill them. I'm so fucking tired of ppl analyzing me everytime they see me in sumthin they don't expect me to wear. And pls ppl, if you wish to talk abt me, pls talk softly cause last time I checked, I wasn't deaf. Or blind for tt matter. I so need to talk to Yi Ping rite now. Or Mag. Life is just so fucked up I swear. And to add to tis shit, Mrs Gail Siow is resigning ppl! We're getting a brand new teach on fridae or mondae or sumthin like tt.As long as it ain't Bernard Chan, we shld be fine.There's LD tmr! Thank God! Bringing my cam as well. Plus there's gonna be the results of the election as well. The root of all evil may be comin tmr so be warned. She's got a bigger ego than before, if's that even possible. Oh well, I beat her in english so I'm happy. Got the highest mark in class - 25/30. Cool rite? Anyways, Yi Ping, you will definately get Drama Rep so don't fret aiite. I noe many seniors voted for u! Rock on gurl! Whats your hidden agenda this time around?Don't you dare burn me again or I swear you're gonna wish that you've never been born. Violence is the answer to my questions, especially since you're scared of me. Be afraid cause you ain't seen nth yet....
Sunday, August 21, 2005 / 2:26 PM
Like the eagle, I will spread my wings and fly.Like the eagle, I will soar into the sky.As long as you unleash these chains from me.Can you unlock my soul?It's depths of pain unknown.Because once you do, I will be free.Free to fly.Free to wonder the earth.Free to cry.Let my tears flow for all it's worth.Cause now I can be who I want to be.I'm finally free.
Saturday, August 20, 2005 / 2:15 PM
Just trying to be me.Do what you want to do.Just let me be.
Friday, August 19, 2005 / 5:44 PM
It's times like these that I hate living.
Malay Class first 2 periods. Not that I don't like malay or anything, it's just that I don't like my class. I was having listening and I didn't understand shit so I started replying Yi Ping's letter. Anyways, I wasn't the only one not paying attetion. SN was talking to like, half of malay class about this guy and she and huda were talking about this guy from SJI and wad shit.... I swear that the only thing on my classmates minds are guys, being cool and that people who read are losers. Anyways I found out sumthin else as well. Apparantly SJ is close to the root of all evil. Biatch in other words. SJ is being 2 faced as usual. And she kept telling me abt my vandalising the malay table in front of cikgu! If only I can kill her.... She just doesn't know when to open her mouth and she CANNOT keep secrets so pls ppl, if u noe hu I'm talkin abt, pls dun't ask her to keep a secret.... Ignored once more. Walked back to class at St.Mikes by myself as usual. Had 2 maths period. Got bac my CA.29.5. Sumone kill me pls. Then I had recess. By myself. All alone. As usual. Then had Science... Ms Lim is on course so we have Mr Yong. That was aiite. Had Lit after tt. Boring as usual. Then was CME, Jocelyn's hp got confisticated cause she was obviously SMS-ing during Ratulangi's lesson.After tt was History CA which was aiite I guess. Then end of school! The end to another lonely day in school. Thank God. I've learnt sumthin in class, ppl only come to me when they need money. Fucking annoyin I swear. Been listening to The Donnas to control my anger since I got back from school and finished my tuition. Yi Ping keeps telling me that I should keep writing my songs and poems so I dedicate this poem to her. For helping me to walk on.Let the fire continue its reign in my soul.Like the pheonix I will rise.Let the other elements bow down to fire.For from the ashes I will rise.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 / 5:25 PM
Silence.Sun begins to set.
Night creeps in.
The cold air fills me with dread.
Waiting,Watching,Wondering.
My eyes are filled with tears.
Remembering.
I want things to go back to the way they were.
With you.
But that can never happen.
I had my chance and I blew it.
I guess it's true then.
You never know what you have until it's gone.
Trying to stop my tears.
I guess I haven't dealt with it.
I don't think I ever will.
I stand,watching the stars.
Wondering why.
But I'll never know.
The reason you were taken from me.
Yet I still Question.
Why?
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 / 11:10 AM
Why are you trying to make me sumone I'm not?!
Thursday, August 04, 2005 / 5:34 PM
Hope fades.Faith evades.Fear creeps in.Gotta stay back on monday till 11.45 cause certain girls in my class weren't paying attention during the science lesson as usual. So damn unfair. I was planning to go out with my friends ( yes,I do have a life out of school.) and now I'm probably going out with my cuz.... Hopefully..... Still gotta ask her if she's free or if she's going out with her friends. Anyway, back to today's events. Cikgu went for the honour's day thing thus we had 2 free periods. And my malay class was the last 2 periods so we all left early.By 5 mins cause Sam didn't let us off. I swear she'll be a teacher one day.She didn't let us copy the answer booklet that cikgu left on her desk for our listening compre.We didn't do it anyway. They, everyone except me, were listening to Biatch's ghost stories and what shit while I was writing some songs.For those of you who don't know this by now I write song and poems when I've got the time. Anyway, 20 mins into their conversation Biatch suddenly cares about me and asks me if I'd like to join. I told her a polite no thanks. That's when they started talking about a couple of LD gurls. Chrystal and Sarah Emmanuel being two of em. They started saying that Chrys couldn't sing and dance and just basically sucks.Then Biatch started saying stuff about Sarah E. Nice stuff. Compared to what she said before when there was a similiar converstaion about Chrys and Sarah E, this was nice. But I could only hear some parts. They started whispering stuff that I guess they didn't want me to hear. My guess, bad stuff about Sarah E but hey, it's just guess. After awhile of being ignored, I went to toilet. I cried. I am sick and tired of being ignored. Even if I had joined them I know for a fact that they would have ignored me. I'm used to being ignored and left out. But after awhile, it makes you wonder. Being isolated kinda changes you. But for better or for worse, I don't know.They don't know that I cried.They never will. When I came back they didn't even fucking realise it. I expected that. But one gets lonely after awhile. Gonna change the topic here. Yesterday I had debate for english. I swear that my whole fucking class is fucking bias. They kept picking on my group. Even after we answered them they kept saying that we didn't reply. I felt like killing them especially the leader of their little group - The Root of All Evil. Those of you in LD should know whom I'm talking about. Anyway, the other group was talking so fucking softly that we couldn't even hear them thus not being able to rebut their comments. Plus Keshveen's group helped them out. It was so fucking screwed! And I realised something as well. I was the only one in the debate thing whom had no one clapping or supporting. If that sounds grammatically wrong, sorry. Let's just say I couldn't wait to go home and listen to my walkman. Music is my escape you see. I go into a different world when I'm listening to music. I get lost in it. You see, people think that they know me so fucking well but they don't. Everytime I try to be me they start calling me a poser or a wannabe. They can do what they want to but I can't. Reason? They're popular, I'm not. Screwed system. Can't wait to leave the school. Can't wait to leave life. Hidayah was telling me that'll I'll get cancer if I continue to draw on my hand and you know what I told her? "Good.Then I'll die younger." I don't know why I feel this way. I just do. Life isn't worth living if you don't have anyone that you can count on. What's the point of living when you're all alone?
Sick and tired of this shit. You weaved a perfectly taught out web of lies. I'm not sorry that I met you, you've made me stronger; I'm just sorry that I trusted you cause it took almost all of my strength to walk on. 
